GeeSpeaks

Sis say what??: The Green Alien Called Jealousy by Ibukun (Adekemi) Goke-Dabiri

The Green Alien Called Jealousy

Hey y’all! It is I! Yes. I said y’all, deal with it (*insert overused meme here*). So, if you haven’t noticed, people have taken over the wonderful Gedo’s blog, and I guess it’s my turn to take my part.
So… I want to discuss something with you people. Don’t worry. This isn’t going to be some lecture or anything. Think of it as, a life lesson. So sit back, grab a couple of snacks, and enjoy.
I want to talk about jealousy. The thing about this eight letter word is it can be really hard for one to confess that they have it. They can deny it all they want, but the truth is… people have expressed some sort of jealous feeling once in their life, like me for instance.

And no, I never got jealous about being in love, or not owning the newest craze (like a fidget spinner). I would be jealous of people’s success, even if I didn’t know them. Of course, I am aware that being jealous is a sin, but is just a humane thing to feel sometimes. I’m not saying ‘Don’t be jealous!’ because everyone has felt it before. Just don’t take it to the point where it drains your energy, you complain about everything, and/or push people away from you.
Now that I have grown older and wiser, that little green alien called jealousy no longer accompanies me. Yes, it does pop by for a visit now again, but I’ve learnt that being jealous isn’t going to solve anything.
Let me give you an example. My friends, course-mates and myself were chilling during lunch one day, and we come across the subject ‘what we wanted do to after this 1st year’. Some are remaining to carry on the particular degree that we are on, whilst the rest want to do something else. Nothing wrong with that. One of them stated how he wants do to medicine, and I responded that one of my friends is studying medicine in Granada. He then smiled and asked if this was really true, with which I responded yes. He continued to smile and nod, but I could catch the small glint of jealousy in his eyes.
Fast forward a couple of months, and he realizes that he can’t do medicine like he wanted to. He complained how he felt like giving up and that there was no point in carry on with the course. I suggested that he could take a different route and do medicine later on in life or do something similar to medicine. But he continued on to complain and became a little envious towards those who are reaching their goals.
The point I’m trying to make, is that it is okay to be disappointed about not being able to do your ‘dream job’ or whatever it is you are trying to achieve. What isn’t okay is being jealous of other people’s success. Being jealous isn’t going to solve anything.

I have noticed through social media and in real life, people seem to be getting more and more jealous of people’s success. I can’t tell them off or rant at them in anyway, because I was once like them. However, I’ve tried guiding them so they no longer feel this way. And I want to share some of these tips with you guys too.

1. If you want something, you need to go out, work hard, and get it.
This is an obvious status, but you will not know how many people I’ve heard complain about not reaching their goals, and then despising those who are ‘living their dream’. First of all, no. They are NOT living your dream. They are living THEIR dream.
I know how annoying and frustrating it can be. This person seems to be going forward whilst you are still suck in a ditch, but this isn’t the case. The person that you despise was exactly where you were before (Surprise!). They just decided to focus and strive towards their goal. Don’t believe me? Do you think Usain Bolt became the fastest runner overnight? What about Kanye West? He had to start somewhere. And John Green. All those drafts certainly payed off in the end. My point is, don’t sit around and hate on those who are working hard.

If you want something, go for it. Work hard. You will get there in the end.

2.  Jealousy is so exhausting
Honestly, it is. More than 50% of your energy is used towards being jealous at one time. ONE TIME! And you end up getting tired, stressed, upset, and even more jealous. That energy you used towards jealousy could have been used on something else, something useful, and it might have helped you become closer to your goal.

3. Jealousy is unattractive
In my own opinion, one of the biggest turn offs is being jealous towards someone. Now, I’m not saying ‘Don’t be jealous at all’. But there is a point where if you don’t do anything to be in the same position or even higher than that particular person, you may as well stop talking to me, because I won’t hear it. Harsh I know, but that is the truth. The amount of times I hear someone that I find a bit attractive complaining and not doing anything about it is a big turn off.

Just don’t do it…

4. Jealousy + Complaints = Rage = No friends?
This mathematical equation might not be 100% accurate, but it can be the truth. Once you are jealous, you start complaining. Once you start complaining, you can become extremely angry. Once you are angry, some will not want to associate with you. Harsh? I know. If your true friends still stick with you during this time then cu-dos to them, but I know people who don’t associate with others because of this systematic sequence they go through. They just don’t want to deal or be part of it.

I hope I’ve passed my point across. This little green alien can cause havoc and stress, and can turn our once pure soul into one that is dark.
After a couple of years, I am happy to say that the little alien does not stay as long as it used to before. But how did I do it? I just followed those steps, and other little tricks to help me become calm and peaceful.

Cause in the end, the only person that is going to get hurt is the one who lives with the little green alien.

WARNING: PROMO AHEAD.

There was another topic that I wanted to discuss with you guys, but thought it was more appropriate to talk about it in a video. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxqrwjUrSfk&feature=youtu.be)

I hope you’ve learned something from this, and I hope it isn’t too cheesy either.
Till next time, this is me signing off.
-Ibukun (Adekemi) Goke-Dabiri

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