To whom it may concern,
It’s been a week since the physical breakup. This has been probably one of the worst weeks of my life. I have tried to immerse myself in work, focusing only on school, on work but every time I am finally in focus, whenever I am finally on my grind, I remember him and then the tears fall and I can’t help it.
I want to disappear, I just want to stop existing, I want to do anything that will make this pain stop. I just want to stop crying, I just want him to want me back.
What was wrong with me? I was happy, I thought he was happy, what did I do?
It’s so hard to drag myself out of bed, I dont even wear makeup, I just keep remembering how we were last week. He came to see me. I can”t even think about it.
I remember when he told me
I just want to forget. I just want it to stop.
How can anyone do this.-
I dont want to see anybody, everytime I hear my phone dings my heart stops because I think it is him but everytime I check it isn’t.
What is life if he’s not in it?
I dont remember a time when he wasnt there
Everyone is telling me Im better off that he just lost something really good but its a lie, I’m not better off
I’m so tired
All I want is for him to hug me and tell me he made a mistake, or that he was just joking
I thought he needed me the way I needed him.
I told my mother about it, she doesnt understand, I am not as strong as her, she wanted me to forget about him, she wanted me to be angry at me, she wanted me to be not upset but I can’t, I wish I could but I can’t. I love him,
I want to tell you how the break up happened but everytime I think about, I just cry.
It’s not fair, I am here listening to shitty break up songs feeling shitty about myself because of some shitty boy who doesnt think I was good enough for him.
I just dont understand why anyone would play someone they claimed that they loved, several times. Don’t I deserve happiness too?
I miss him
I miss him so much