yours heartbroken

To whom it may concern,

I might regret this however I am slightly intoxicated with the glasses of red wine I have had not to mention very heartbroken so it is allowed. I should have known this would happen, if you’re going to take away from anything in this letter, I want you to know that no one can be trusted and if it looks too good to be true then it probably is.

I’m not quite sure what I plan on getting out of this but I heard that paper is the most patient friend and at this point, a patient friend is what I need.

To be honest, I should have known, I should have known better but as every lovesick fool states “I was blinded by  love” not that I know what love feels like, I thought I did but I refuse to admit what I felt was love.

fuck.

fuck

fuck

FUCK.

I fucked up.

I should have known, it was my fault. I should have never shown myself to him like that, the one time I let myself be vulnerable and this is what happens

can you believe they warned me about him? They said stay away, watch out, don’t do this but I didn’t listen now look at me, I’m crying, I’m crying over a boy, a regular boy.

But he wasn’t regular, not to me he wasn’t, I loved him, I would give him everything, I would have died for him.

My heart hurts, I feel like I have been stabbed right inside my chest. I’m trying not to think about it but I keep thinking about it and when I think about it, I cry harder.

Why am I crying this much?

I just want him to knock on my door and tell me it was a cruel prank, I would be angry but I would forgive him.

Why would he just let me go like that? Why would he just throw away years?

My time, I put so much time.

You know I prayed for him, I told God to take him away if he was just going to lead me to heart break, I prayed for him, I cared about him so much. I can’t believe this.

My head hurts so much, my eyes feel so heavy.

I want to sleep but I can’t

I just keep thinking about all our future plans, we had so many. We were going to go travelling in two years, during the summer he was supposed to come down to me.

I can’t believe this.

I love him.

How could you do this to someone you deeply cared about? it doesn’t make any sense, this doesn’t make any sense.

I need him.

I need to sleep, I am so tired

I hurt so much

I’m so tired

He’s throwing it all away, he’s throwing me away.

How can he not love me anymore?

Why doesn’t he love me

Why is this happening to me

fuck

I fucked up.

 

yours heartbroken,

me.

Advertisements

One thought on “yours heartbroken

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s