I decided that I was going to start these series because I figured, well from my experience as a Christian teen, there are somethings you want to know but you don’t have the guts to ask your parents about and you’re not really sure who to talk to or trust with touchy topics but search no further! Hopefully, as we go on this journey of growth together I can maybe make some issues clearer for you? I mean, what are best friends for?
Soooooooooo today’s touchy topic will be one that every person has thought about at least one time or another, dating, thun, thun, thun. I’m just going to put it out there that no, I have never officially dated BUT I have read the bible and I know a thing or two so bear with me, what I am saying will start to make sense eventually….maybe
- So the first question, often times is, when is it okay to date?
Most parents, at least most Nigerian parents that I know of do not allow their children date and that’s final. Ofcourse some kids still date behind their parent’s backs, and lemme tell you something, your parents KNOW.
I don’t know how they do it, I don’t know how they always find out but they either know or they will know. So if you’re in a situation like that, where you know your parents will not approve but you’re still doing it, honestly I’d tell you to either tell them or leave it because first of all living with the guilt isn’t worth it AND when your parents do find it, they probably won’t take it very lightly. Anyway back to what I was initially talking about, when is it okay to date?
For the longest time, I did not know the right answer to this question, I didn’t know if there was a specific date or time and I didn’t want to ask my mom because I didn’t want her to think I was thinking about stuff like that so I was just confused. Until one time when I was reading the bible, trying to find something about dating, when the Holy spirit spoke to me.
There isn’t a specific date to start dating, you start dating when you are sure that your relationship with God is strong and steady and you are sure that no other relationship will take away from your most important one, the one with God. When this happens you don’t need to worry about anything else. When your relationship with God is strong, your self-control will be strong so you don’t have to worry about pressure, and if you believe that whatever your partner is trying to make you do is wrong then you will have no problem having the confidence to tell him/her no. If your relationship with God is strong then you will not falter.
2. What if she/he’s not a Christian but I really really like him/her and he/she really really likes me.
As much as it hurts me to say this, I’m gonna have to ask you to flee. In 2 Corinthians 6: 14-18, it states, in the message version, “don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership that’s war. ”
Let me explain why. This is because when you date someone who is not of the Christian faith, you will be spending a lot of time with them, talking to them, doing things with them and they won’t be able to understand all the things you do because they aren’t Christians. For example, if they want to hang out on a Sunday but you have to go to church, they don’t understand that you HAVE to go to church and this can just lead to unnecessary arguments. Plus, if your relationship with God isn’t as strong as you thought it was, they can start to lead you to believe that things that you know are not okay are okay. Like I remember at one point this guy was trying to convince me that sending nudes were okay
He would say things like “oh it’s only your bra plus it’s on snapchat so nobody else will see” and I seriously almost started to believe that it was okay. Now if I didn’t have a strong relationship with God I could have done some serious damage. So just stay away, God has a prince in shining armor or a princess in a shining armor waiting for you. Just be patient.
3. As long as it’s not sex, can I do” things” with my boyfriend?
GURLLLL who you tryna fool? Not me cause I’m yo best frann and the answer right off the bat is NO. Anything that leads the body to stimulate itself for sex can bring a strong desire for sex and I’ve heard that the desire gets too great sometimes it’s almost uncontrollable so why put yourself and your partner in that position? Hugging is okay because it doesn’t turn you on, I hope……. Also kissing is okay too but only if you know and you are sure that you have very strong self-control. BUT sucking his dick babygirl is not okay, fingering no no hunny, handjobs, blowjobs, I don’t know what you crazy kids are up to but I suppose you get the gist. If you feel your body gettin’ a Lil’ hot and bothered and you know yo’ mama ain’t gon’ wanna see you doin’ dat then don’t do it. God stays watchin’. The bible says avoid temptation so just don’t do it tbh.
Soo.. what am I trying to say? You CAN date if you are a 150% sure that your relationship with God is super strong, stronger than duct tape. Just try to avoid dating those who are not Christians and do not engage in activities that may increase your desire to have sex so that’s going to mean avoiding being alone together in dark, cozy places. Quite frankly, being in a relationship in your teen years is a hassle as not only do you have to worry about school, friends, you also have to worry about who you’re dating, the things you’re doing, your thoughts. It’s just not worth the stress and I can understand why parents don’t let their children date until they are older, it’s saving them a lot of stress. Hopefully, what I have said makes sense and you’ve felt like you’ve learnt something today.